Philippians 4:11-13 (English Standard Version)
11Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Contentment. This is the word tattooed on my back in the picture. Specifically the Greek word from this beautiful verse in Philippians. I spent a lot of time, years actually, deciding what is important enough to be permanently printed on my body. This word, contentment, is it. I have lived. I know the lowest lows and the highest highs. But I still strive to be content. It is not my bank account. It is not my job, or lack there of. It is not who I am dating or whether I am almost 30 and unmarried and childless. I let myself think it was. I let words of others and reminders from family be a constant barrier between me and contentment.
In fact contentment is not an action at all. If I go to church every Sunday, this does not bring contentment. If I give and give until I have nothing more to give this does not bring me contentment. When I graduate from school finally, I may be happy, but not content. Keeping my house clean, being productive during the day, sleeping normal hours, eating right, exercising, having friends, not drinking too much, all good things... none bring contentment.
It has taken me 29 years, being at some of the lowest points in my life, some wise words from a friend, and a permanent tattoo to come to this realization...
Contentment can't be earned or achieved. It is simply to rest. No matter what is whirl winding around me, I can only be content by resting. Resting in the peace and knowledge that God is my provider. Jesus is my strength. And no matter what I do or don't do that remains unchanging.
I always thought of contentment as something I strive for, when in reality, it was never my choice to be content. God chose me, and because of this I am content. The only thing for me to do is accept this and move forward at peace knowing that I can do all things through Christ. That is such a freeing thought.
